SNL ON NEW JERSEY

Saturday Night Live featured their David Patterson character this week on Weekend Update. David Patterson is the governor of New York who also happens to be legally blind. The sketch is basically several minutes of the Governor making fun of New Jersey. Living here made this quite a bit funnier. The video is displayed below (skip to 7:50 to get to the specific sketch).

CAREER CHOICES SLIGHTLY MORE LIMITED AFTER THIS WEEKEND

I can safely say that there is no way I will ever captain a shrimp boat with Forrest Gump, or work on one of those ships in the TV show "Deadliest Catch", or anything else having to do with the ocean and boats. Allow me to explain. But first a shout out to the two people who are now "following" this blog. My loyal friends I promise not to disappoint by providing mildly entertaining stories of my life.

My good friends from Spokane, Ben and Aarow Eastham invited me to come with them on a fishing trip in Asbury Park, NJ. Ben is doing medical school at UW in Seattle and they were out in NJ this week visiting Aarow's family. I agreed to come along on the trip and expected a great time. Let's first say that the image I had in my mind was not the same as reality. There are only three other times that I can remember being on a boat in some sort of salty water: Bremerton to Seattle ferry through the Puget Sound, Staten Island Ferry through New York Harbor, and a party boat in Puerto Vallarta that took several BYU students snorkeling in Bahia de las Banderas. I had never noticed before, but these are all quite protected areas, meaning the waves don't get that big. This will be important to note later in the story.

We boarded the boat at about 7pm and found our spots near the back. The boat is 120 feet long and has fishing rods lining the edge from the front to the back. People continued to trickle in until there were about 50 passengers and 10 crew. This was a rough crowd. The phrase curse like a sailor is absolutely true. I'm surprised we also don't use phrases like drink, smoke and smell like a sailor in our conversations because they would be equally true. The picture below shows some of the people we rode with. You can probably guess that the girl in the center was not completely sure what her boyfriend, shown at left, was getting her into. The other picture shows the chum that they throw overboard to attract fish. It is made of pieces of other fish.


The boat left at about 8 and we cruised due east for about an hour. The open ocean is not a friendly place. (Yes I did just sound like a pirate there). The swells were between 5 and 7 feet and as we kept cruising several people in the boat were getting sick. On man starting chumming (which is sailor talk for barfing) into the garbage can inside the cabin. The crew quickly directed him to the edge of the boat to save the rest of us from watching. About 1/2 hour into the ride I started to feel a little bit of an upset stomach, but nothing more than a long winding car ride. We finally stopped and I felt a bit better after that. Once we stopped the fishing immediately got underway and people started pulling in fish right away. I caught one not more than 10 minutes after dropping my line in the water. A picture of my prize catch is shown below. Note the size of my foot (size 10) and the relative size of the fish. It put up a good fight as I reeled it in.


After I caught the fish things quickly deteriorated. I didn't feel so great and told Aarow I was going to take a break inside. The moment I walked inside the cabin the sea sickness set in and I spent the next 3 hours either bent over the edge of the boat depositing a half digested Subway sandwich and diet coke into the ocean or laying inside the boat with eyes closed and stomach rolling. I did manage to make it 15 or so minutes somewhere in there where I caught another fish. However, that respite was short lived. I wasn't alone since I saw most of the other passengers chumming at some point during the trip, but I do think I won for most frequent barfing. At about 1am they reeled in the last of the fish and started for the shore. It amazed me that immediately after pulling into the harbor I felt completely fine. I think I'll stick to land-based activities for the near and distant future.

CLASS THUS FAR

After today I will have completed 1 week of classes. I still don't think I have a good indication of what the semester is going to be like. 1 of my classes has yet to assign a problem set, which when it does come, I'm sure it will be hefty. I still haven't decided what to do about the never-ending story that is my dilemma between microeconomics in the Econ Department (super-hefty) or microeconomics in the Woodrow Wilson School (not so hefty). Thus far, I've been attending both. The WWS version makes sense. The Econ version makes sense while I am in class, but the moment I leave class and look at the problem sets my brain melts. Most of the problems are proofs of some sort or another. I've not done a lot of proving in the past, so here's my assessment of proofs thus far.

Step 1: Write down something that makes absolutely no sense or is completely obvious.

Example: Show that {#<<|*(c<=3)} is [(0)-$3-->R++] OR Show that 1 is 1.

Step 2: Stare blankly for several hours and wonder either:

a) Did the person fall asleep on their keyboard to create this proof?
or
b) Why is this not already completely obvious?

Step 3: Use lots of symbols and definitely more symbols than words.

I recommend < > # $ * ~ and {}. These seem to be popular choices.

Step 4: The few words you use must come from the following set:

assume, suppose, implies, exist, therefore, we have, & as desired

Step 5: Mix symbols with words. Never use actual numbers. Never use the word "example".

Step 6: Write the same thing at the end that appears at the beginning.


Done! You now have proven something. Granted, you are still confused and most likely frustrated, but take a deep, satisfying breath and know you've filled lots of white space.

In case you don't belive me, here is a sample from the first day's material.

Let B` = A ∪ B. Then, WARP yields c(A) ∩ B` != ∅ implies c(B`) ∩ A ⊂ c(A).
But since c is a choice function, we have c(A) ∩ B` = c(A) ∩ (A ∪ B) != ∅ and therefore
c(A∪B) ∩A = c(B`) ∩A ⊂ c(A) as desired. Next, assume that c(A∗) is a singleton for all
A∗ and c satisfies α. Also assume that c(A)∩B != ∅. Then, c(A) = {x} for some x ∈ A∩B.
Let {y} = c(A ∪ B). If y ∈ A, then α and single-valuedness implies {y} = c(A) = {x}.
Hence, by α, we have {y} = c(B) implying c(B) ∩ A ⊂ c(A) as desired. If y /∈ A, then
{y} = c(B) and c(B) ∩ A = ∅ ⊂ c(A), again, as desired.

SUNDAY STUFF

After church today several of the young single adults in the ward came over the the Graduate College to eat with Christian and I. Sunday afternoons are well known at the GC because of the Sunday brunch. It was very good. Afterwards, as we were walking out of the dining hall we heard the sound of bells. It turns out that Cleveland tower (the large tower attached to the GC) has one of the largest carillon bells in the world. Here is a sample of the music we were hearing.

We stuck around and spoke to one of the people who was playing the bells. It turns out that there are free carillon lessons every Sunday afternoon and the music we were hearing was several of the students practicing. Well I'm sold and will be practicing alongside the other students next week. Where else will you get the opportunity to learn how to play the carillon bells? What a great conversation starter at parties. Not only did we talk to the people playing the bells, we also climbed to the top of the tower. It is definitely the tallest building for miles as you can see from the pictures I took at the top.

Looking across the golf course onto Princeton main campus.

A view of the Graduate College. My room is hidden by trees in the top left of the frame.

After descending the tower we heard a different type of music. Someone was playing the organ in the dining hall. Yes, there is a pipe organ in the dining hall. I don't even think Hogwarts has that on us. The organist looked like a fellow graduate student and I was able to record the very end of "The Great Gate of Kiev" which is an incredibly loud, full piece. The sound was so great. It filled the entire hall. I loved it.

Overall, Sunday was a great day.

Some more of the organ, but softer. I recorded this from outside.

BOOZE, BOOZE AND MORE BOOZE + FOOD

Princeton has an unbelievably large endowment. So what do they do with all that money? Buy large amounts of alcohol and food. This week has been full of welcome meetings, orientations, and other beginning of school receptions. A person here could go from party to party and always have a drink in hand. I remarked to one of my friends in the department that our stipends would probably be much larger if the department cut its alcohol budget. He remarked that no one would join the program. So, even though I don't drink, I still benefit from the excellent food that accompanies the alcohol. In fact, I've made it a goal to never buy lunch while here. I already know that I will get free lunch every Thursday and Friday due to subfield seminars. I know that other subfields meet throughout the week and there are frequently leftovers placed in the lounge. Additionally, with this being job talk season there is always lunch being served when people come in to give job talks. I don't think I'm going to have a hard time accomplishing my goal.

SQUIRRELS AND TOUCHING

As I walked home from a welcome reception to my dorm I passed approximately 30 people. I also passed approximately 300 squirrels. There are definately more squirrels living in the area than people. Its a good thing these animals posess a lower intellectual capacity than humans, otherwise they may begin organizing. One little known fact about the squirrel population here is that Princeton is home to the rare black squirrel.

Kudos to the university for promoting diversity in the animal population as well as the student body. This variation of squirrel is exactly the same as his grey brother with the only difference being the color of his fur. The black squirrel is so appreciated here that there is a local baseball team that uses it as their mascot.

Prior to my walk with the squirrels, all of the incoming graduate students attended an orientation meeting. The meeting was filled with a lot of campus administrators giving us advice and reciting policies that we immediately forgot. We know we all came for the free lunch and t-shirts that were distributed afterwards. During the meeting, however, there was a brief address by a more senior graduate student in the history department. I don't remember the majority of his remarks, but I do remember the title of his disertation, "Exploring the Significanct of Touch in 16th and 17th Century British Literature." As Tina Fey and Amy Poehler would say on SNL's Weekend Update, "REALLY!?!" I can't believe (actually I can, which makes this all the more ridiculous) that someone would want to devote 3+ years of intense research into answering this question. In fact what is the question? And what faculty member looked this young man in the face and said, "Yes Johnny! You're really on to something here. I've been meaning to wrap my head around this one but just haven't had the time. "

P.S. I came across what looks like a very interesting new take on Jane Austin's classic novel. Perhaps someone here is exploring the use of zombies in British literature.

THE CITY

This weekend I went to NYC for a tri-state singles conference in Manhattan. I had a great time and met a lot of great people while also connecting up with some old friends. However, rather than discuss the contents of the conference, I wish to comment on the beginning and end of the weekend. The easiest way to get from Princeton is a short 1.5 hour train ride. The station is less than half a mile from my house and takes me to the main New Jersey line where I transfer to the NY bound train. Once on the train I get off at Penn Station in New York and hop on the #1 line to the temple at Lincoln Square. Prior to spending much time in New York, I had developed the idea that the subway is full of really crazy people. Well this weekend disproved that theory and replaced it with another. It is not the subway but rather the train in and out of New York where one finds all of the crazy people. Two stories illustrate the point.

Story #1

While waiting for the train at Princeton Junction, I turned to the left to see a man standing no more than 10 feet from me. He was facing away from the platform looking back at the parking lot. I didn't think anything of it until I noticed that he was not admiring the many cars but rather peeing off the platform. I suppose he didn't mind that there were several people, including myself, around him, or that there was a restroom not 100 feet from where he was relieving himself. I slowly moved down the platform so as not to get any splash on myself or my luggage and to ensure that we were in different cars once we boarded.

Story #2

On the way home from New York I had the pleasure of sitting next to a man who found himself incredibly funny. I imagine that the majority of his time is spent discussing NASCAR, drinking beer, and scratching himself. He found it highly amusing to pass gas loudly for the entire 1.5 hour trip. Amazingly enough, this man was married. His wife was equally amused by his gastric abilities. Honestly, the first thing that came to my mind was, "We really allow these people to vote? Why do we revere a system of government that lets these types of people make decisions about how to govern our country?" The second thing that came to my mind was, "...And I'm the one that's not married. Man, what is wrong with this scene?" Needless to say, I was more than ready to disembark from the train.

Overall, I was surprised that by far the strangest and most annoying people were not on the subway in New York but rather in New Jersey. Just one more reason people speak so highly of The Garden State.

P.S. This does not at all compare to my friend Brad's experience riding a train in China. For that humorous (only because it is not happening to you) story, click HERE.

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

Greg Mankiw, a Harvard economist who I greatly respect has provided a link to a response to Paul Krugman's recent New York Times Magazine article titled, "How Did Economists Get It So Wrong?" The response is written by John Cochrane, a University of Chicago Financial Economist who, if you've read the Krugman piece has plenty of reason to feel the need to respond. See the original article HERE and the response HERE. Seeing as Krugman's lair is only one floor away, perhaps I'll bring this up to his office for him.

"FAMOUS" PEOPLE FROM LEFT AND RIGHT

I put "famous" in quotes because there definitely is a difference between Michael Jackson famous and famous among policy wonks. Nevertheless, I have stumbled across some famous people this week. Yesterday several students and I were sitting in the lobby of Robertson Hall working on some math problems when a nice man asked us where the vending machines were. We pointed him towards the basement. As he left, one of the students remarked that the man was Josh Bolton. I know, you're probably not gasping for air and fainting at the idea of seeing Josh Bolton. In fact, I bet you don't even know who he is. Josh Bolton is not related to Michael Bolton the musician. He was the chief of staff to President George W. Bush. What is chief of staff, you might say. For those of you who are Mormon, this is like the executive secretary for the President. You know how much responsibility and influence comes with that job. For those of you who aren't Mormon, think of the Chief of Staff as the President's right hand man. He's involved in every decision made in the White House. Later that day I was wandering around the halls and found out that his office is actually a few doors down from mine. Apparently he is a Princeton alum and is going to be teaching a few classes this year.

Josh Bolton

While I was wandering the halls, I came across the office of another famous person. Paul Krugman, the economist who recently won the Nobel Prize and writes regularly for the New York Times, has an office at Princeton. I imagine that he is rarely here and that he used to teach but now is too busy writing columns that I am convinced he does not (nor does any other liberal economist) actually believe. In my opinion, his columns are bogus and he knows it, but bogus seems to be the flavor of choice in the NYTimes. Anyway, perhaps he'll make an appearance here and I can meet the man in person.

The Beast's Lair

INNAUGURAL BIKE RIDE

So I took the bike out this morning and went for a ride through rural New Jersey. The route wound through all sorts of country roads with very nice views. It turns out that the entire area is not covered in trees, and once you escape the canopy there are great vistas of the Princeton area. Here are two photos I took along the way at the top of a large (for NJ) hill. I'm attempting to smile, however, I was really out of breath and sweating like crazy in the humidity, so I think I look more ill than anything.

TRADITIONAL GET OUT OF TOWN TRIP

Thinking back, I've noticed a pattern in my life. I seem to leave town every Labor Day. It's the perfect holiday weekend if you really think about it. Usually school has just started and you are not at all excited about the schedule/reading/homework you already have piling up. Labor day is really the only thing that gets me through that initial week of school. So to continue the tradition, I packed my bags and headed for Boston, MA for the weekend. I had only been there once before when I went to visit MIT and it was at the end of February. All I remember is it was freezing cold, everyone seemed dreary, sad and tired, and it was freezing cold. So this time I was extremely surprised to find a city that is actually incredibly fun and exciting. I went with my friend Kaeli who just started a PhD in political science at Yale. I picked her up and in Boston we met up with several of our friends from BYU that are now studying or working in the city. I had a great time.

Saturday morning we went to the temple and that night we went swimming at Walden Pond.

The actual pond made famous by Thoreau

It is a beautiful place. I would have thought that those big-government New England liberals up there would have stopped people from swimming in the lake and turned it into a giant boring museum by now, but that's not the case. When we weren't doing that we were eating in Harvard Square, or hanging out with many of the other LDS folk that live in the Cambridge area.

Harvard Square

Honestly, there were moments when I thought, "Why on earth did I not chose to go to school here." But I had to remind myself that I definitely am at a better program, and will probably do much better this year since there are zero distractions here. I recently remarked to my dad that I can either study or go running. Those are the only two options available to me right now, and after it gets dark running is really treacherous here. I tried to convince all of my New England friends to come down to NJ and visit, but they were much more interested in me coming up there again. Honestly, I think I agree.

On a side note, we wanted to watch the BYU vs. Oklahoma football game but didn't have a place that was showing it. We talked to a friend there who was going to watch it at Tagg Romney's house (oldest son of Mittens, our favorite presidential candidate). He tried to get us in, but was unsuccessful. Those darn super-rich people. (For a hilarious discussion of the difficulties of being super-rich see: Rich/Super-Rich.) It turns out there weren't enough solid gold miniature football party favors for us to come along.

LIFE AS A FUGITIVE FROM THE LAW

What little political theory I have studied has come in handy this week. I remember reading St. Augustine (and watching the moving The Great Debaters) and coming across the famous phrase "an unjust law is no law at all." Well, I've taken this to heart as I participate in my first act of civil disobedience. The Graduate College (the castle/small box that I live in) forbids the use of microwaves. Apparently, New Jersey law forbids any sort of cooking appliance to be used in a "dorm." If people use these items then the building somehow looses its designation as a dorm and a galactic wormhole swallows our reality. Who knows, but apparently its bad. At the same time, the Graduate College provides us with no way to cook food for the time that we are here prior to the start of the fall semester, which is about 3 weeks. So, I must follow my conscience on this one, and it is telling me to cook that delicious Stouffer's lasagna.



A picture of the contraband, which must be hidden in case of "unnanounced inspections." No joke, they really come around during the semester and inspect your room for illegal appliances.

GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE

It has been brought to my attention that portions of previous posts may have implied that I did not enjoy spending so much time with my parents during the previous week on our way to the East Coast. In no way was such an implication meant by the author. In fact, I have been thinking all week that I needed to express to my parents how thankful I am that they came with me to start this great adventure. Moving here would have been impossible without their help. That is in no way an exaggeration. They are wonderful and are incredibly supportive of everything I do. They are some of my best friends. I hear my peers talk about visiting friends in various places during winter, spring and summer breaks. I have great friends scattered around the country, but when I get a break there is nowhere I would rather be than in Spokane with my family. Ask any of my old roommates and they will tell you that during the summer I was always planning my next trip back home. So props to mom and dad for being great.

And if that little ditty didn't bring a tear to your eye, then this picture of the family surely will.

LOST

I'm convinced that GPS units were definitely invented on the East Coast, and not in Utah.

Princeton Area:



Salt Lake City Area: